Challenges

I have a couple of points to make:

I am pretty much not better than an Olympian at anything, except maybe snark.

That push up thing? I could maybe do that with lady push ups. Maybe.*

Olympians are good at sports. This is the profession of an Olympian. I am unable to challenge a professional athlete at athletics.

At whom is this targeted? I mean, the hula-hoop makes it seem like it's a kids' thing, but then again it's not specified. And it doesn't say there's an age limit.

Wait, I think I've got it! There's one person who can give that snowboarder a run for her money...

*Okay, so I tried it. I did one lady-push-up-hand-clap and stuck the landing. Then I collapsed into giggles, which doesn't seem like the Olympian did. A second attempt was a mistake; there was nowhere to land but my elbows. In conclusion, I am not better at upper body strength than an Olympian. *Surprised face!*

LOLFLOTUS

In honor of yesterday's post...

Another America-centric post

Old news: Chicago did not win its bid for the 2016 Olympics.

New news: World makes up for it by awarding Obama the Nobel Peace Prize.*

Okay, so even the new news is a week old. But still! We here at Mount Olympics find it pretty darn exciting. Also, the ChicagoNow blog, a major proponent of Chicago's bid, calls it a "consolation prize." Ha.

Also, all this talk of Presidents and Olympics got us at Mount Olympics pretty darn excited. Piped straight to you from Emily, our trampoline loving co-blogger, here is a possible outline of what would happen if we invented both a time-machine and won the bid for the Trans-Temporal Heads of State Olympics (our bid only barely eked out the Martian one):

PRESIDENTAL OLYMPICS!!

George Washington v. Teddy Roosevelt in track and field, or possibly marital arts! Abe Lincoln v. every other pioneer western president in an epic rail-splitting contest! Henry Clay and William Jennings Bryan pouting in the corner because they didn't make the team! Ronald Reagan on a teflon skeleton! Abe Lincoln cleaning up everything in the marksmanship tournament! Thomas Jefferson turning out to be an amazing gymnast on top of everything else!** William Henry Harrison's ridiculous fangirls with TIPPECANOE tshirts! FDR playing murder-parapalegic-whatever-the-heck that was!*** Abe Lincoln's Great Emancipators vs. Barack Obama's Fired Up Death Panelists For Change in the most anticipated basketball championship tournament of EPIC and WIN in Olympics history!!!!

And while THEY'RE doing THAT, you have Jackie O. over on the sidelines being all, WHAT SAY YOU LADIES and Eleanor Roosevelt being like ALL OVER THAT and Abigail Adams like GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YALL and Dolly Madison busting out her figure skates and Michelle Obama being like THESE BICEPS SENT CARLA BRUNI RUNNING IN TERROR, POINT ME AT THE SHOT PUT.

So there's automatic sequel territory there.

And it could branch out, I can see some of the crowned heads of Europe getting in on this action. Or Enlightenment scientists. Romantic poets. Tyrants, Despots and Dictators for the politically incorrect.

Although to be very honest I don't think anything could possibly beat the whole idea of trash-talking first ladies, I'm just saying there is potential here. Do you think Kate Beaton would illustrate it? We could do a Canadian Explorers edition.

*Original typo: Nobel Peach Prize. Most delicious international award EVER.
**Of COURSE he would. You know this to be true.
***Murderball. And FDR would RULE it.

First Lady Michelle Obama Wins Figurative Gold Medal at Copenhagen IOC!

UPDATE 2PM EST:

PARTY IN RIO. News at 11.

Update: 12EST:
Chicago NOO! Even Barack Obama couldn't convince the IOC that Chicago wants, no, DESERVES the 2016 Olympics. Americans are making grabby hands, and the IOC said not yet.

Chicago was seen as a leader in the field-- America is good at hosting the Olympics, the last Summer Games in the US took place in Atlanta in 1996, and Chicago spent 4 years and $50 million to woo the IOC. But the IOC would not be wooed.

Chicago lost out in the first round of voting. The USOC was apparently stunned and had no comment. STUNNED. Like with phasers.

9am:
Okay, everybody, today's the big day! In a day that recalls the incredible power of the human will to triumph over all odds in the spirit of peace, good sportsmanship, and healthy international competition, the International Olympic Committee will decide the city for the 2016 Olympic Games!!!

Will it be Chicago, City of Dreams and Architecture?! (Answer: No.)


Or perhaps Tokyo, City of Bright Lights and Bullet Trains?! (Answer: No.)


Or maybe Rio de Janeiro, City of Carnival and the Samba?! (Answer: Yes.)


Or possibly Madrid, City of Spanish Gold and Bull Fights?! (Answer: No.)

The BBC is running an up-to-the-minute live blog of the hearings. As they say:

An International Olympic Committee ceremony in Copenhagen, due to conclude some time after 1730 BST, will select the hosts of the 2016 Olympic Games and it has come down to that quartet. Bed down now for a day of twists, turns, votes and vol-au-vents as I bring you all the gossip and news from Denmark, where experts have already been describing this as the closest bid process in history. It could be a bumpy ride.

I want to go on that ride! As such, look for up-to-date updates (hmmm, I think I'm being redundant) on the proceedings. I will be honest, I am not in Copenhagen. I also have a job. So it might be largely copy-pasted from the BBC site. BUT STILL.

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama made the case for Chicago. Apparently the president was a little jet lagged, and, as such, only won the figurative silver medal in Pitching Your City To The IOC, which is actually a little known event in the decathlon (hahaha, jokes). According to CNN:

First Lady Michelle Obama, who's been here a couple of days, cleary took the gold with an emotional speech focused on her family's roots in the the South Side of Chicago and her late father's battle with multiple sclerosis.

"Sports were a gift I shared with my dad — especially the Olympic Games," Mrs. Obama said in her portion of the U.S. delegation's final presentation to the International Olympic Committee here. "Some of my best memories are sitting on my dad's lap, cheering on Olga and Nadia, Carl Lewis, and others for their brilliance and perfection."

Mrs. O gets extra points: first, for mentioning BOTH the Olympics and the Paralympics. Second, for this statement about her father: "He taught me how to throw a ball and a mean right hook better than any boy in our neighborhood," she said. FLOTUS FTW.

Oh man, amazing. Let's see how the others stack up. Check back in shortly.