Showing posts with label newsnewsnews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newsnewsnews. Show all posts

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Another America-centric post

Old news: Chicago did not win its bid for the 2016 Olympics.

New news: World makes up for it by awarding Obama the Nobel Peace Prize.*

Okay, so even the new news is a week old. But still! We here at Mount Olympics find it pretty darn exciting. Also, the ChicagoNow blog, a major proponent of Chicago's bid, calls it a "consolation prize." Ha.

Also, all this talk of Presidents and Olympics got us at Mount Olympics pretty darn excited. Piped straight to you from Emily, our trampoline loving co-blogger, here is a possible outline of what would happen if we invented both a time-machine and won the bid for the Trans-Temporal Heads of State Olympics (our bid only barely eked out the Martian one):

PRESIDENTAL OLYMPICS!!

George Washington v. Teddy Roosevelt in track and field, or possibly marital arts! Abe Lincoln v. every other pioneer western president in an epic rail-splitting contest! Henry Clay and William Jennings Bryan pouting in the corner because they didn't make the team! Ronald Reagan on a teflon skeleton! Abe Lincoln cleaning up everything in the marksmanship tournament! Thomas Jefferson turning out to be an amazing gymnast on top of everything else!** William Henry Harrison's ridiculous fangirls with TIPPECANOE tshirts! FDR playing murder-parapalegic-whatever-the-heck that was!*** Abe Lincoln's Great Emancipators vs. Barack Obama's Fired Up Death Panelists For Change in the most anticipated basketball championship tournament of EPIC and WIN in Olympics history!!!!

And while THEY'RE doing THAT, you have Jackie O. over on the sidelines being all, WHAT SAY YOU LADIES and Eleanor Roosevelt being like ALL OVER THAT and Abigail Adams like GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YALL and Dolly Madison busting out her figure skates and Michelle Obama being like THESE BICEPS SENT CARLA BRUNI RUNNING IN TERROR, POINT ME AT THE SHOT PUT.

So there's automatic sequel territory there.

And it could branch out, I can see some of the crowned heads of Europe getting in on this action. Or Enlightenment scientists. Romantic poets. Tyrants, Despots and Dictators for the politically incorrect.

Although to be very honest I don't think anything could possibly beat the whole idea of trash-talking first ladies, I'm just saying there is potential here. Do you think Kate Beaton would illustrate it? We could do a Canadian Explorers edition.



*Original typo: Nobel Peach Prize. Most delicious international award EVER.
**Of COURSE he would. You know this to be true.
***Murderball. And FDR would RULE it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

A look back, a look forward

Look both ways before you cross the time line!

Wow, it's been a while. Almost an entire year, in fact, since last we updated the blog, and a year to the day since the Opening Ceremonies (08/08/08!).


Happy Anniversary, little guys.

And there's been a year of international sports and excitement that we here at Mount Olympics have allowed to pass un-blogged. So much has happened, in fact, that it merits a bucket o' links! These are the stories we would have been following, had we, you know, been blogging.

Don't worry, China, not having the Olympics won't be terrible for your economy!
Don't worry, world, a terrible economy won't hurt the Olympics!
Sorry, Russia, the economy might hurt the Sochi 2014 Olympics.
Sorry, London Olympics, the economy might hurt you, too.
WAIT, by "hurt" we meant "the Olympics will save the British economy," right?

Poison + Milk = Scandal, but Olympics + Scandal = Chinese cover up...

OPRAH wants the 2016 Olympics in Chicago. OPRAH. WE MUST DO AS SHE SAYS.
OBAMA wants the 2016 Olympics in Chicago. OBAMA. (Remember: Bigger than Oprah.)
A BILLION DOLLARS wants the 2016 Olympics in Chicago.

Olympics has opened China to foreign media? WaPo says it is so.
Beijing brings back Olympic pollution control! Olympics make things greener, and not just in Canada!
Also, Olympics maybe helped China's human rights record!

Rugby is trying to get to the Olympics. BADASS.
Baseball too.
Also golf.

As a final sendoff to the summer games, FINA bans technical racing suits!

Phew, I feel refreshed, don't you?

In conclusion, look for this blog to be updated more often! Up next we have a shout-out to all you google searchers out there.