O Canada! (True North, Strong and Free)

Point the first: Let's let everyone know whose game they're playing.

Point the second: FuckYeahKateBeaton.

Point the third: The CN Tower is gold.

Point the fourth: Did Canada own the podium? Canada did not win more medals than the US. It did win more gold medals than any other country, and more gold medals than any other host country, ever.

In conclusion: Canada, I know it's not your wont, but feel free to bask. Just a little bit.

Canadian Superheroes: Official Designation

We here at Mount Olympics are rather proud of the tags on this here blog, but perhaps we have never been prouder than at this very moment. From today's New York Times Sports Section:

February 12, 2010 

A Fashion Statement Designed to Grab Gold

By KAREN CROUSE

RICHMOND, British Columbia — Look at that figure streaking into view on the Richmond Oval. Is it a crossing guard? Is it a backpacker? 
Actually, it is Christine Nesbitt of Canada in her new superhero bodysuit.

We here at Mount Olympics have been using the "Canadian Superheroes" tag for just under two years, and we treasure it as one of our greatest innovations. As such we will take this opportunity to be a little bit smug. Yes, that's right, New York "Our Coverage Takes the Gold" Times. Because we called it.

How Badass is Curling?

According to the BBC, it is really, really badass.




BBC Sport - 2010 Winter Olympics Inuit Animation

Canada: NOT MESSING AROUND THIS TIME

Oh, Canada. Not my home and native land, but I love you just the same. We have had some good times together, you and I, and shared many laughs.

But no more.

For the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games, however, Canada is taking itself very seriously. Although it has long been a huge player in international winter sporting competitions, Canada has never really come out on top. The world-class Canadian athletes have long settled for silver and bronze, allowing countries like Norway, Russia, and, embarrassingly, the US to dominate.

Hosting the Games hasn't helped, either. During the 1976 Montreal [Summer] Games and the 1988 Calgary Winter Games (think Amik the beaver and Hidy and Howdy), the Canadian team did not win a single gold medal. The Soviet Union dominated both tournaments and the US team made it into the top ten both times.

“We’re the only country to host two Olympic Games and never have won a gold medal at our Games,” Cathy Priestner Allinger told the New York Times. “It’s not a record we’re proud of.”

Well, Canada is fed up and is not going to take take it any more. They are going to win some gold medals come hell or high water. It is taking precautions that some have even termed "American," an insult indeed. For instance, it has limited the practice time American teams are afforded. Also, this year's slogan? "Own the Podium." YEAHHHH!

"Own the Podium is obnoxious and un-Canadian," says Louise Fox, a Canadian etiquette expert told the Wall Street Journal. "Up here we don't toot our own horn like that."

Well, toot away Canada. You toot your pants off. I'll be cheering for you.

YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Links links links:
"Welcome to Canada... Prepare to Lose," WSJ.
Luge federations spar over Whistler training time , CTV.  
Canada protects home advantage at Olympics, NYT.

77 DAYS!

Oh my goodness. How time has flown! With all the excitement about Rio's underdog victory as 2016 host city (and perhaps my unhealthy fascination with the Obamas), we here at Mount Olympics have failed to properly prepare you for Vancouver, which is a mere 77 days away!

The torch is already on the move here, people! We have been remiss! For those who are wondering, tomorrow it will be traveling by "large fishing boat" in Shippagen, New Brunswick. According to the relay site, it will loop the harbor before "returning to the starting point." Also, it will continue via ATV. CANADA!

Do you see what we have been missing? Entire loops of New Brunswickian harbors! Well, no more.

From now on, we will be all Vancouver 2010, all the time.* It makes Quatchi so happy!

Did you know that Canada was populated entirely by superheroes? I did not.

OMG Quatchi is buying his ticket! I want to buy one too!

*Please note that this may not actually be the case. For instance, new mascots have just been announced, mascots I must tell you about! Their names are Lyo and Merly and I will tell you about them tomorrow.

The Best Runway In Town

Olympic fashion is everywhere these days, from the front page of the New York Times website-- Seeking Marathon Edge, Can Rice Lead to Gold? (actual first line of article: "Olympic marathon runners are no less obsessed about shoes than the gal pals in 'Sex and the City.'")-- to debates over swim wear (Japan Lifts Swimsuit Ban, BBC News).

But let us leave those discussions to what we call "serious blogs and news sources." No, I know what all of you are here for.

HARK! THE RIDICULOUS!

We begin with a trip down memory lane, to some of the fashions of the past...

Oh Aristidis Konstantinidis, will your mustache ever not be sexy?
He won the first cycling thingy, guys. Show some respect.

The archery lasses didn't get all the long skirt love. Just take a gander at these tennis outfits, circa 1896! Yeesh.

Moving forward, let us consider, for a moment, the Opening Ceremonies. You know, where everyone comes into the stadium, led by a placard-bearer, and all dressed in identical outfits? It's a pretty awesome bonding moment for everyone. But wait a minute, what happens if the designer happens to put everyone in doofy hats?

This. This is what happens.

But this year, surely they've learned their lesson. I mean, that previous photo was from 1992. Fashions have changed since then, right?

"Change" is one word for it...
This is Canada's official 2008 gear. I would not lie about something like this.

This, though. This is fuckin' badass.
Canadian designer, you weren't entirely on crack

Well, let us now consider Italy. Italy is considered to be the birthplace of high fashion. The shows in Milan and Rome truly set the stage for world trends in fashion. Surely their Opening Ceremonies would be in the best of taste and refinement. Right? RIGHT?

Um. Do you see the bitty skiers?

Really, Italy? You're going with the flaming robots?
...Okay. Whatever.

You know what? I could take you through every single fashion faux pas the Olympics has ever caused or been witness to (FIGURE SKATING!! FIGURE SKATING!!), but instead I will just move on to the image that has stuck with me since I was a wee lass of seven. Seriously. Barcelona 1992, may your snow globes never be forgotten.




And now? As we look to Beijing 2008?

Yeah. At least it's not a snow globe.