The Best Runway In Town

Olympic fashion is everywhere these days, from the front page of the New York Times website-- Seeking Marathon Edge, Can Rice Lead to Gold? (actual first line of article: "Olympic marathon runners are no less obsessed about shoes than the gal pals in 'Sex and the City.'")-- to debates over swim wear (Japan Lifts Swimsuit Ban, BBC News).

But let us leave those discussions to what we call "serious blogs and news sources." No, I know what all of you are here for.

HARK! THE RIDICULOUS!

We begin with a trip down memory lane, to some of the fashions of the past...

Oh Aristidis Konstantinidis, will your mustache ever not be sexy?
He won the first cycling thingy, guys. Show some respect.

The archery lasses didn't get all the long skirt love. Just take a gander at these tennis outfits, circa 1896! Yeesh.

Moving forward, let us consider, for a moment, the Opening Ceremonies. You know, where everyone comes into the stadium, led by a placard-bearer, and all dressed in identical outfits? It's a pretty awesome bonding moment for everyone. But wait a minute, what happens if the designer happens to put everyone in doofy hats?

This. This is what happens.

But this year, surely they've learned their lesson. I mean, that previous photo was from 1992. Fashions have changed since then, right?

"Change" is one word for it...
This is Canada's official 2008 gear. I would not lie about something like this.

This, though. This is fuckin' badass.
Canadian designer, you weren't entirely on crack

Well, let us now consider Italy. Italy is considered to be the birthplace of high fashion. The shows in Milan and Rome truly set the stage for world trends in fashion. Surely their Opening Ceremonies would be in the best of taste and refinement. Right? RIGHT?

Um. Do you see the bitty skiers?

Really, Italy? You're going with the flaming robots?
...Okay. Whatever.

You know what? I could take you through every single fashion faux pas the Olympics has ever caused or been witness to (FIGURE SKATING!! FIGURE SKATING!!), but instead I will just move on to the image that has stuck with me since I was a wee lass of seven. Seriously. Barcelona 1992, may your snow globes never be forgotten.




And now? As we look to Beijing 2008?

Yeah. At least it's not a snow globe.