OMG Google

OMG OMGOMGOMG

I am SO EXCITED!!!

 

 

Google ski view

Back in the heady days of 2007, I once dreamed that I could attend the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. It was my plan. I was going to do it.

Now, with a job and some responsibilities, I realize that going for the official Games is ridiculous. (I still occasionally check ticket prices in mid-march for the Paralympic games...) BUT I still want to be there!

And Google has made it as close to possible as I'll get. Fantastic.

Mount Olympic Rings?

Google is our friend.* Due to a fun little tool called "analytics," I actually do know what you are looking for when you find this blog. And I am here to deliver. So those of you searching "how to mount olympic rings," this entry's for you.

By "mount," I assumed you meant "get up on" and not "mountainous pun in the title of this blog." And by "olympic rings" I assume you meant "still rings" and not "the five interlocking rings on the official flag of the Olympic Games."

Basically, you want to figure out how to do this:

Please note: this image comes to us courtesy of my new favorite website, the Oldtime Strongman Blog. Find this and so many other exciting photos of oldtime strongmen at http://www.oldtimestrongman.com.

I cannot tell you how to be an oldtime strongman. I do not know any real oldtime strongmen. But I do know a real gymnast! Here is what our Special Gymnastics Correspondent tells us "how to mount olympic rings," Google friends!

well..... the real question is what do you mean by mount? if you mean how they get up to the rings... they get lifted by a coach. if by mount you mean what skill they do first.... there are about 300 different possibilities. or you could possibly mean how do they hold. in which case 98% of Olympians where grips on rings. so they would simply position their dowel over the ring. Basically i dont really know what you mean... Also might be beneficial to know that the rings look deceptively tall. I believe FIG rings are only about 8 feet tall. So mounting them really isnt much of an issue. hope this might kinda help.

It does kinda help, Special Gymnastics Correspondent! Or, I assume it does, at least. Let me know if you need any more help, Intrepid Googlers!**

*Don't Be Evil, Google!

**Please be sure and note that Google has also informed me that you can buy special gymnast insurance, tailored specifically to the needs of gymnasts! Google, you always know exactly what I need, even if I never knew it existed!

Google for Gold

Post-game on Beijing later. For now, I give you a tour of the Olympic Host Cities, courtesy of Google Maps and the awesome power of people with too little to do with their time. (Totally unlike me.)

Around the World in Five Rings

I am holding out for the installation of a Google insta-locator chip (you know they've got them) on the torch, so you can Google its precise location in real time and possibly see it getting hijacked by Free Tibeters in San Francisco. If Google doesn't cause the implosion of social activism simply by making it way too easy to find, I don't know what will.

Also, as incredible as this seems, I don't think I actually went to the Google homepage at all while the Olympics were on. Did they have a theme logo? I mean, they've already got the two O's and the primary colors thing going on, it's like it was meant to be...